For the last 6 months there have been construction workers on our street fixing the waterlines going to and from the houses. Six months. Six months of crappy water pressure and intermittent water outages.
Which always seem to take place when I am in the shower!
I swear they’re all watching me through the curtains with their hands off the shut off valve. Hey, that Heather chick is on her way to the shower again!! Hit the switch!
Today was no different.
I had just arrived home from dropping Rori off at school, Brian and Parker were still out running errands so I had a rare break to have a PRIVATE shower.
I eagerly ran upstairs.
I was a kid in a candy store, surrounded by colourful treats who had just been told they’d been given an all you can eat pass. Hell yes!
I turned on the shower and stepped under the scolding hot stream.
I stood for a moment letting the hot water wash away all the stress from my muscles. Then reached for the shampoo.
(I use tresemee… So I can sing the song every time I’m in the shower…)
I had juuust worked the shampoo up into a lather, massaging it through my hair and all over my body when the water shut off.
There was a crackle, then a gurgle, then nothing.
I looked up at the shower, frustrated.
“Oh come on!”
I began playing with the shower knobs turning them on and off hoping, maybe, just maybe the water would come back on.
There was only one thing to do… I had a bunch of water bottles downstairs in my fridge. I could rinse out with those. It would be freezing, but I could do it.
Just as I reached the decision some of the soap in my hair found its way into my eyes.
“Ow!” I tried to wipe it out, only to discover my hands were covered in soap too.
“You have got to be kidding me!!” I cried to no one in particular.
I groped outside the shower for my towel. I nudged it with the side of my hand and it fell to the floor.
I jumped from the shower and groped my way down the stairs into the kitchen.
The soap was burning my eyes now. I no longer cared about how cold the water was. All I wanted to do was get the burning suds from my eyes.
I found the fridge and threw open one of the doors, grabbed a bottle and bolted for the kitchen sink. Like I was going back up stairs to rinse the soap from my eyes!
Of course that was the exact moment that Brian walked through the back door. With his best friend Trevor in tow.
I was standing in full view, soap covered but completely naked.
Dear God I was freaking naked!!
I screamed and leapt from view as Brian reacted slamming the Kitchen door in Trevor’s face.
I bolted up the stairs leaving a trail of soap suds behind me and dove for the cover of our room.
My heart was pounding when I got back to my bedroom. Of course this was when I realized that I was still covered in soap, and had only brought the one half bottle of liquid with me. Great.
I could hear voices down stairs but I stood cowering in our bedroom, our bedspread around me, and the half bottle of water clutched in my hand. It wasn’t long before I heard someone climbing the stairs.
That BETTER be Brian!
Brian’s head poked in our room.
“He’s gone.” He said holding back a chuckle in his throat.
I was still beat red.
“You know we got a letter saying they were shutting the water off today,” he said.
“What?! When?” I demanded.
“I left it on the counter where you’d see it,” he said.
“We’ll I DIDN’T!!” I cried.
He broke into an uncontrollable laughing fit. So I did the only thing I could think to and smacked him in the back of the head.
“I don’t care, it was still worth it,” he choked out between fits of laughter.
“Brian, we may have to move to Siberia and change our name….”
Brian laughed. “Oo! I bet there’s lots of snow there!” He said.
“Alright we may have to move to Cancun, and change our name…”
“We’re not moving to Cancun, …or Siberia.” He said.
“Fine, but he’s not invited to our Christmas party!”
“Oh don’t worry, I already got revenge for you.” Brian chuckled.
“You did? How?!” I asked.
“When I opened the door and saw you standing their naked the only thing I could think to do was shut the door before he saw anything! Apparently I shut it right on his nose!”
The moral of the story? Don’t walk in on a naked, soapy lesbian, or you’ll end up with a bloody nose!