Mommy in the Closet

One Lesbian's struggle to come out of the closet

Sexy Shower for… 3?

20121114-160601.jpg

For the last 6 months there have been construction workers on our street fixing the waterlines going to and from the houses. Six months. Six months of crappy water pressure and intermittent water outages.

Which always seem to take place when I am in the shower!

I swear they’re all watching me through the curtains with their hands off the shut off valve. Hey, that Heather chick is on her way to the shower again!! Hit the switch!

Today was no different.

I had just arrived home from dropping Rori off at school, Brian and Parker were still out running errands so I had a rare break to have a PRIVATE shower.

I eagerly ran upstairs.

I was a kid in a candy store, surrounded by colourful treats who had just been told they’d been given an all you can eat pass. Hell yes!

I turned on the shower and stepped under the scolding hot stream.

“Ahhhh….heaven.”

I stood for a moment letting the hot water wash away all the stress from my muscles. Then reached for the shampoo.

(I use tresemee… So I can sing the song every time I’m in the shower…)

I had juuust worked the shampoo up into a lather, massaging it through my hair and all over my body when the water shut off.

There was a crackle, then a gurgle, then nothing.

I looked up at the shower, frustrated.

“Oh come on!”

I began playing with the shower knobs turning them on and off hoping, maybe, just maybe the water would come back on.

Nothing.

There was only one thing to do… I had a bunch of water bottles downstairs in my fridge. I could rinse out with those. It would be freezing, but I could do it.

Just as I reached the decision some of the soap in my hair found its way into my eyes.

“Ow!” I tried to wipe it out, only to discover my hands were covered in soap too.

“You have got to be kidding me!!” I cried to no one in particular.

I groped outside the shower for my towel. I nudged it with the side of my hand and it fell to the floor.

Forget this!

I jumped from the shower and groped my way down the stairs into the kitchen.

The soap was burning my eyes now. I no longer cared about how cold the water was. All I wanted to do was get the burning suds from my eyes.

I found the fridge and threw open one of the doors, grabbed a bottle and bolted for the kitchen sink. Like I was going back up stairs to rinse the soap from my eyes!

Of course that was the exact moment that Brian walked through the back door. With his best friend Trevor in tow.

I froze.

I was standing in full view, soap covered but completely naked.

Dear God I was freaking naked!!

I screamed and leapt from view as Brian reacted slamming the Kitchen door in Trevor’s face.

I bolted up the stairs leaving a trail of soap suds behind me and dove for the cover of our room.

My heart was pounding when I got back to my bedroom. Of course this was when I realized that I was still covered in soap, and had only brought the one half bottle of liquid with me. Great.

I could hear voices down stairs but I stood cowering in our bedroom, our bedspread around me, and the half bottle of water clutched in my hand. It wasn’t long before I heard someone climbing the stairs.

That BETTER be Brian!

Brian’s head poked in our room.

“He’s gone.” He said holding back a chuckle in his throat.

I was still beat red.

“You know we got a letter saying they were shutting the water off today,” he said.

“What?! When?” I demanded.

“I left it on the counter where you’d see it,” he said.

“We’ll I DIDN’T!!” I cried.

He broke into an uncontrollable laughing fit. So I did the only thing I could think to and smacked him in the back of the head.

“I don’t care, it was still worth it,” he choked out between fits of laughter.

“Brian, we may have to move to Siberia and change our name….”

Brian laughed. “Oo! I bet there’s lots of snow there!” He said.

“Alright we may have to move to Cancun, and change our name…”

“We’re not moving to Cancun, …or Siberia.” He said.

“Fine, but he’s not invited to our Christmas party!”

“Oh don’t worry, I already got revenge for you.” Brian chuckled.

“You did? How?!” I asked.

“When I opened the door and saw you standing their naked the only thing I could think to do was shut the door before he saw anything! Apparently I shut it right on his nose!”

The moral of the story? Don’t walk in on a naked, soapy lesbian, or you’ll end up with a bloody nose!

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

11 Thoughts on “Sexy Shower for… 3?

  1. Jackie! on November 14, 2012 at 7:18 pm said:

    LOL!

    I LOVE it! talk about awkward moment!!

  2. **Care** on November 14, 2012 at 11:22 pm said:

    LMAO!!! thats friggin awesome!!! hahahaha.. and sexy too ;)
    love u beautiful!!

  3. I love your life! You can make almost anything amusing. I’ve also been in a similar situation and it sucks. Especially, when you’re still covered with soap. This seconds the story about the scary skunk. BTW: Have you seen Sir Stinky lately? He’s probably hiding from you, after you slammed the lid on him. Perhaps, he was a her? I don’t know how you tell their gender, and I don’t wanna find out!

    • Jackie! on November 15, 2012 at 1:36 am said:

      lol i am starting to see a pattern, skunk has a lid slammed down on its head, dude has a door smashed in his face…. when you get startled people get a good old fashioned face smashing!

      • Jackie! – yes, there is definitely a pattern. A pattern that says don’t mess with me! Wahahahahaha! Lol

        Ricki- I’m glad you enjoy my stories. :) and no I haven’t seen Sir/Madam skunk since that one run in and I am sooooo glad to hear it! We put out a trap for him… “Come eat the yummy food in the cage skunky so we can relocate you!!” ….But he never bit. And even though he made me orange from head to toe for 3 days, I couldn’t bring myself to buy poison. Although if it happens again… The gloves are coming off! Lol
        Heather recently posted..Sexy Shower for… 3?My Profile

  4. GlitterGirl on November 15, 2012 at 4:56 pm said:

    Hilarious! I’ve inadvertently flashed so many people throughout my life that I should be immune to the embarrassment, yet I’m not. Nice to know I’m not the only person whose friends can tell funny “I’ve seen you naked” stories :)

    • Hahahaha!
      I swear GlitterGirl, we were twins separated at birth…! We are too much alike it’s scary!
      Yeah, for some reason or another an embarrassing amount of my friends have seen me naked… So many that apparently I’ve started to work on Brian’s friends! -_-

      Maybe my New Years resolution this year should be to keep my clothes on…
      Heather recently posted..Taking a trip down Memory LaneMy Profile

  5. Or just peek through the window and avoid the bloody nose :) XO

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge

(Spamcheck Enabled)

Post Navigation