H: Stop being so sexy! It’s distracting!!
N: What are YOU doing??
H: working.. 
N: Is that what the kids are calling it now-a-days?
(After a moment of silence)
N: Now I KNOW you’re not working!
(More silence)
N: I’m so face timing you…
***************
Nicole’s Pros :
- She makes me laugh
- She’s cute/adorable/sexy
- She gets me out of the house
- She forces me to be more active, because she is crazy active!
- She’s easy to be around
- She has a cool giraffe tattoo on her thigh nick named “Lily”
Nicole’s Cons :
- She’s single
- She’s looking for a relationship
- She’s most likely going to get hurt.
I feel like I’ve been down this road before, and recently. I guess this is what happens when you play with people’s emotions, but aren’t 100% emotionally available yourself. It reminds me of a boyfriend I had in highschool. I was so into him. And I felt like I was constantly hitting my head against a wall trying to get him to actually open up to me on a level beyond… “hey, how ya doin?” And “Let’s have sex.”
Sometimes I step back from the situation. I let myself drift until I am hovering over a moment in time, free. Clear. Able to see things from a different perspective. And I wonder from my birds-eye-view if this is how the women I have dated feel/felt. Are they constantly bashing their heads against this immovable object that is my marriage and my availability, feeling the sting of being second choice?
This… this is why I was looking for a married woman!
**************
N: Hey pretty lady…
H: Hey … that’s my line!
N: You know, they say plagerism is the greatest form of flattery… 
H: THEY obviously have never had any of their pick up lines plagerized!
N: Sure they have, that’s why THEY say it.
H: Who is THEY anyway?
N: You don’t want to know.
H: Why?
N: Because then the conspiracy buffs will track you down and force you listen to 355 consecutive hours of Baby Einstein, until your brain is mush and you tell them everything they want to know.
H: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
H: N/m You’re right. Don’t tell me.
*******************
H: Are you done napping yet?
(An hour later)
N: I am now!
H: Have good dreams about me???
N: Actually… YES!
H: SWEET!
H: Do tell, do tell…
N: I was out shopping, and I spotted you across the store. You were wearing that red dress. Our eyes locked. I took you outside to my SUV…
H: uh huh, uh huh…
N: … And i made you change my flat tire.
H: You are such a tease.
N: Learned it from the best!
*********************
Sometimes you know something is bad for you, but you do it anyway…
A giraffe tattoo on her thigh?! I’d like to hear the interesting story behind that. At least, you’re having fun. BTW: Our impeccable Princess has been suspiciously silent. I hope that she’s okay.
I hope she wasn’t eaten by a giraffe!
I do too. I sent her an email a few weeks back telling her I was thinking of her and that I was hoping she was alright, but I haven’t heard anything back.
Hopefully she’s just busy jetsetting around the world.
Heather recently posted..Hot Girl to get you through the Hump Day…
I don’t know the Princess personally or away from these comment sections, but I’ve missed her too! I always counted on seeing a comment or two from her and I’d noticed there hadn’t been any. I, too, hope all is well. Keep us posted.
We miss you Princess! Jackie, I laughed at your line, but Giraffes are vegetarians;).
thats just what they want you to think!
Going to be blunt. Feel free to delete if you feel I cross a line…but that’s just the kind of gal I am!
What exactly are you wanting? (I haven’t had a chance to read all your past posts so I apologize if you already explained this.)
If you were a guy, I would think you were being a total douche. Well, your actions are a bit douchey, but everyone involved is participating with full knowledge right? Why would she even ask you “Do you think that will be us one day?” if she understood the terms of your relationship? And if you aren’t in sync you had an opportunity to clear it up and didn’t take it.
Are you just interested in exploring the sexual side of being with a woman? Because you are dating, courting, developing relationships and bonds and that’s really not fair to anyone involved, including yourself. You really are playing with fire by wanting your cake and eating it too.
I know this sounds judgmental, and it’s not. I have an opinion on this if I look at it from a position of WWTD (what would Tammy do). I don’t judge you for taking this path but I fear you are walking it blindly because you are afraid and trying to “please everyone” as much as you can without completely denying your desires. You have built an entirely different closet.
Tammy recently posted..Our Yard Is A Bitch
Tammy, always speak your mind.
I can’t say I’ll always like what you have to say, but sometimes the things you don’t like are the things that you need to hear.
First of all, everyone is participating with full knowledge. I didn’t hide the fact that I was married or planning to stay married. She has even met Brian. (Although briefly) I don’t know why she would ask the question. I really don’t. She seemed pumped about the “friends with benefits” kind of concept.
And believe me when I say that I don’t know wasn’t the only thing I said to her. It was just the only thing I wrote down here. Because it really is a part of an internal struggle. I don’t entirely know what I’m doing and I’m trying my best to figure it out in a way that works for everyone involved. (see… you’re right about that too…)
And you’re also right that I’m being a bit douchey. I’m not going to lie. I feel it sometimes. But I don’t entirely know WHY I feel that way. I was completely honest with everyone invovled about what I wanted and what I expected. They agreed. And that agreement really hasn’t changed.
For me this is more than just trying to experiment with my sexual desire to be with a woman. If it was just that, I’d be going out and having a bunch of one night stands. The idea was for me to feel free to actually date; to have an open relationship. Am I always ready for 100% of what that entails? I don’t know. A lot of this is trying to figure things out as I go.
Heather recently posted..Hot Girl to get you through the Hump Day…
Jackie, you’re right! Now, I’ll be suspicious of Giraffes:).
“Sometimes you know something is bad for you, but you do it anyway…”
I know exactly how this feels, so I can sympathize with ya, Heather.
For some of us, it’s really, really, really hard to not get pulled into a relationship like this. To see if you can make it work. Or to enjoy it while you can, knowing that it might be short-lived.
I know these aren’t profound words of wisdom … I just wanted to say I get it.
Thanks BiGirl.
I think it helps that we’re both walking this road at the same time. We get each other.
Heather recently posted..Hot Girl to get you through the Hump Day…
OK, so on the topic of the married vs. single ladies
As a reminder: I’m married and plan to stay married. I have only been with other married women.
I have had some relationships with married women that were purely sexual. No relationship building. Sometimes it just happens. Sometimes that’s what you need. Sometimes that’s what you BOTH need. It doesn’t automatically mean that one person is being taken advantage of, who is to say a conversation didn’t take place that clearly outlined the parameters.
I’ve entered into relationships with married women that I thought would be long-term relationships. I’ve had sex with them and in the process of building that relationship, things didn’t work out for one reason or another.
I’ve started a relationship with a married woman who at the time we started the relationship, we wanted the same things. Along the journey, however, she changed her mind and we no longer had the same goals.
I’ve started a relationship with a married woman who wanted something different than I did because I thought I could change her mind. I guess she thought she could change my mind, too. That didn’t end well
LOL
I’ve had a pretty ideal relationship with a married woman who seems to want what I want … and still been frustrated at the lack of time we get to spend together — both socially and sexually. Her schedule, my schedule, her husband’s schedule, my husband’s schedule, work, family … it’s not easy to find time for fully nurturing another relationship. (honestly, this is sorta where I am right now — trying to understand what is realistic to expect & to be happy with the time I can get with her)
Most days I think I know exactly what I want & I’m working on having that. Some days I’m not so sure.
MY POINT = You just don’t know how it’s going to end up, whether they are married or single. Sometimes you just have to go down the path and live & learn. Let yourself live & learn.
My big question, Heather, is have you asked her what she wants out of her relationship WITH YOU? I know you say she wants a relationship overall … but have you asked her specifically what she’s looking for from you? If I remember correctly, you met her while accurately presenting yourself as a married woman who wasn’t necessarily going to have a change in marital status. Correct me if I’m wrong.
(sorry for ANOTHER long comment)
hehehe… don’t apologize… I like your long comments. And I love that you share part of your history and own story with me.
I like your point. That it is true that whether you are dating someone married, or single, you can’t know whether things will work out until you head down that path. It’s true. Last I checked, no one on earth actually had a WORKING magic 8 ball that told them the future. So we have to let ourselves be open to new experiences. We have to try, fail, try, fail and still get up to try it again.
You are correct, I absolutely DID tell her that I was married and was going to be staying that way. She understood and was interested in talking to me anyway.
I asked her in the beginning what she wanted out of dating me, but I somehow wonder if that has changed.
This might be a good thing to keep in mind next time she and I chit chat.
Heather recently posted..Hot Girl to get you through the Hump Day…