On Saturday I’m going out to my first Roller Derby game with Nicole. Her team is playing a team from a closeby town and she invited me to come see her in action.
N: Want to come see me in action?
H: We’re going to have sex?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!
N: Uhhh… not quite what I meant.
True if she were inbetween my legs I wouldn’t exactly be “watching” her in action. I’d probably have my head back, eyes closed and be moaning for all I was worth, but still I thought it was a little misleading to phrase it that way. But I digress…
I don’t know if roller derby is my thing. But I do know that I enjoy beautiful women in short shorts any day of the week, so I agreed to go.
Then I spent the next half an hour on wikipedia boning up on roller derby lingo so that I wouldn’t sound quite so stupid in front of Nicole or her friends. (This is the first time I’m going to meet her friends.. I’m assuming that means that things are going… well?)
Let’s see what have I learned so far?
A bout: is a 60 minute match (not a bout of milaria or other sinister sounding disease), usually divided into two 30 minute periods.
A jammer : A player (idenitifed by a star on their helmet) who can score for their team.
A blocker : Players on the team who block the other teams jammer from scoring.
Pack : A mass of blockers skating together (to bring down a herd!) to block the jammer. The jammer must skate around the pack, risking bodily harm, to score points.
Blocking Zone : A place where it is OK to hit someone and cause bodily harm in order to block them from passing.
Jab to the stomach? Ok.
Elbow to the Head? Not ok.
Slap on the Ass? Ok.
Kick to the shin? Not ok.
Ok.. I think I’m seeing a trend here.
Basically I spent half an hour learning that Roller Derby is a sport I could never play, being the easily bruised kind. Basically if I were to play this game I would be insuring that I could never go out in public again because every person that saw me thereafter would be convinced I was being abused at home and would call the cops.
Guess I’ll have to scratch that one off the bucket list.
I did, however, learn enough that I think I won’t sound like a complete moron the entire night. And if worse comes to worse, I saved a couple of the pages on favourites on my phone for easy access. Then when the crowd starts hissing and booing around me, I’ll be able to look it up and understand that “that bitch of a blocker just commited a major on our jammer!”
Do I sound like I know what I’m talking about yet?
Yeah.. I didn’t think so either.
I have also been invited to the after party victory celebration/you’ll-get-em-next-time-drink-a-thon.
I think I’ll stick to mixed drinks this time.
That way if/when I spend the night I can tell you all the dirty details afterwards!
lol, Thanks for the lesson! You may not know what you’re talking about but it sounds rather good to me. Still, I think I’ll watch Danica at Daytona instead
Katie recently posted..Observations from the Window 2.20
Hahaha… I agree with you, Katie. I don’t think roller derby is going to be my thing. But I’m all for supporting the girl I like in something she loves.
Besides, I get to take pictures!
I definitely like Danica too… especially in all those photos where you see her taking OFF her nascar outfit!
I wouldn’t need to brush up at all…..it would be just about watching HOT ladies in tight outfits go in a circle and hit each other like Hockey Players LOL And the key part is…watching HOT ladies in tight outfits
*True if she were inbetween my legs I wouldn’t exactly be “watching” her in action.*
Well when I’m in between your……….Oh, I mean if I was (hypothetically) between your legs
I would look up into you eyes so I could………..actually I don’t wanna turn your comments into something X-Rated….I’m sure you can think of something in that dirty mind of yours 
*Slap on the Ass? Ok*
…this is OK with me. Do you have to be in Roller Derby to do it/have it done to you?
“I have also been invited to the after party victory celebration/you’ll-get-em-next-time-drink-a-thon.”
Is this were the HOT lesbian orgy happens?
*That way if/when I spend the night I can tell you all the dirty details afterwards!*
No “if” this time….it better be WHEN!!!!! We already know you like wearing HOT lingerie and will be prepared by wearing some underneath whatever HOT outfit you decide to wear tonight. Though you might want to avoid a mini skirt…if you wear that she’ll probably be to distracted by looking at you and get hit more than she wants to by those other Derby Girls
Have fun on your date tonight and we want to hear all those “dirty details”
Kara XOXOXOXO
Kara recently posted..The Freshman-2.2
Heather, get your mind out of the gutter… get your mind out of the gutter… get your mind… ahh… screw it!!…
“Well when I’m in between your……….Oh, I mean if I was (hypothetically) between your legs I would look up into you eyes so I could” Gee… I wonder what it is that you’d want to be watching.
(Tease!)
No. You don’t have to be in roller derby to have your ass slapped. Promise.
Yes. It IS where the hot lesbian orgy happens. At least, I hope it is. Although I don’t know if all of Nicole’s friends are lesbians… I just know that a good percentage of women who play roller derby usually TURN OUT to be lesbian.
Something about that hot girl on girl action… wahaha.
(Omg. These comments are going to make my blog x-rated today. lol.)
Dirty details will be my pleasure to give you. But no, I won’t be wearing a mini skirt to this date… that’ll be the movie… (still waiting for that one to happen…)
Keep your mind in the gutter, Keep your mind in the gutter, Keep your mind……
*I wonder what it is that you’d want to be watching.*
Maybe I’ll just have to send a “more detailed” email reply at some point
Well I guess they don’t all have to be lesbians to join the orgy. As long as you find them HOT no discrimination here lol
I thought we were keeping them PG13:P I can take it up another notch as you might have notice from my blog
Well if Nicole doesn’t want to go to the movies I’ll put on a HOT mini and join you
and if ass slapping is OK for non-derby ladies I’m for that to….. *lifting up skirt*
XOXO
Kara recently posted..The Freshman-2.2
“Maybe I’ll just have to send a “more detailed” email reply at some point”
I like detailed emails.
“I thought we were keeping them PG13:P’
Nope, Adsense has already informed me that we’re too naughty, so I had to take the ads down… so you might as well let it all out now!
I don’t think Nicole is the mini skirt kind. She’s more comfortable in jeans. But she doesn’t mind dressing it up… it just means our exploits at the movies are going to be a bit more… difficult?
Or maybe I’ll just have to get that little vibrator you were telling BiGirl and me about… and I’ll have my fun that way
Heather recently posted..Roller Derby Dates spell Lesbian Romance.
Keep a lookout for that email than
I figured our dirty talk would drive up the amount of people visiting your site which intern would drive more looks for the adds;) Sorry if I caused you to lose them :/
Jeans…especially skinny jeans are good cause they can hold the remote vibe in place
Jeans, a sexy top and a pair of heels can definitely be a HOT outfit!!!! Though if you get a remote it won’t matter if she has on jeans since I know you would rather be the one having it inside you 
Hope you had fun last night and look forward to hearing about it….XOXO
Kara recently posted..The Freshman-2.2
lol.. they’re not lost permanently…
I just have to take them down on individual articles that google thinks is “inappropriate for all audiences”… which basically is half of the posts I write ANYWAY! lol. So it’s not you… it’s me.
Thanks for the tip on the jeans… I’ll have to remember that the next time we go out
OK…well if you ever prefer me to just email you the “naughty” comments…just let me know
Kara XOXO
Kara recently posted..The Freshman-2.2
Never!!!!